Doughnut Escapades
by Dysthymia
Summary: Why does everyone seem obsessed with doughnuts? Written with the fans of the Facebook page Proud to be a Red Robin fan.


Dick smirked as he snitched the last doughnut Tim glared at him.

As Dick went to take the first bite out of the doughnut, Damian jumped out from under the table, knocking the Grayson to the floor. The doughnut arched through the air, and both Damian and Tim jumped for it.

Tim used his Bo staff and grabbed the doughnut.

Damian attacked Tim, causing the doughnut to fly into the air again.

Dick grabbed the doughnut triumphantly as he somersaulted above the fighting Robins. "Mmm...soooo good!" he exclaimed, grinning at their death glares.

Damian and Tim went after the donut again, tackling Dick to the floor. Jason appeared and caught the doughnut. He took a huge bite. "Mmm... You guys are idiots..."

"You're a douche," Dick told Jason.

"Yeah, and you're a dick, Dick," Jason replies.

Alfred arrived just then with a second box of doughnuts. "Barbara, Stephanie, and Cassandra will be arriving soon," he informed the boys.

However, when the girls arrive, there are no more doughnuts left.

"What the hell?!" Steph exclaimed. "You guys are pigs!"

"Yup," Jason agreed, belching loudly. Then he waggled his eyebrows at the girls. "Any of you want to meet me later?"

Cass punched Jason in the gut while Babs and Steph stormed off to find Bruce. They needed justice for the doughnuts.

Barbara shook Bruce awake. How could he sleep at a time like this?

After awaking Bruce leapt to his feet and pushed the girls away. "What happened?" Bruce exclaimed.

"The boys ate all the doughnuts!" Steph exclaimed. "And I'm pretty sure Jason came on to everyone."

"Just the girls," Babs said, rolling her eyes.

Bruce looked at the girls strangely. "There are doughnuts involved in this?" That was strange, considering what he had just dreamed...

He scratched the back of his head as he contemplated and as he stood, the blanket dropped. Doughnuts were lying on the sheets. Bruce frowned.

Suddenly Babs and Steph tuned into Joker and Harley Quinn.

Bruce woke up again.

Alfred stood nearby with a relieved look on his face. Bruce's fever had finally broken. Now, if he could figure out why Bruce had constantly mumbled about doughnuts...

Alfred produced a wet cloth and a sigh of relief came from him as he moved toward Bruce. "Master Bruce! I see the Joker toxin has worn off, do you require anything?" Alfred asked.

"No, Alfred how long was I out. Last I remember Jason, Dick, Tim, Damian, Stephanie and Barbara were being held captive by Joker and when I got there I remember pain". Bruce looked around the room.

Alfred set the cloth down as he checked Bruce temperature. "Master Dick, and Master Jason, showed up just as Joker was attempting to use his toxin on the rest."

Bruce found himself checking for doughnut crumbs. There weren't any.

Alfred pressed the cloth against Bruce's forehead. "I'm afraid Master Tim has been affected by the Joker Toxin as well. He seems to have received a higher dosage."

Bruce sat up quickly causing himself to become nauseated and then regained himself. Quickly he got dressed and headed to Tim's room where he sees Tim connected to an IV

* Cuts to the night before, while Tim is on patrol as his masked persona Red Robin*

"Sure is quiet tonight." he thought to himself. Just then sirens started blaring and he saw cop cars heading toward Arkham Asylum. Only one thing went through Tim's mind. Joker escaped.

Quickly, he mounted his motorcycle and sped off into the distance in hot pursuit of the police cars to see if his assumption was correct.

When Joker saw him, he grinning maniac sprayed Tim with a new concoction he'd whipped up.

"Let's see what my food toxin does to you, Boy Blunder!" Joker giggled.

Tim frowned. Food toxin? What the heck was a food toxin?

Unbidden, images of the last food he'd eaten flowed into his head. He tried to fight the toxin, throwing a punch at Joker.

Harley hit him on the head with her mallet. "Look, Puddin'! I hurt the poor little birdie!"

As Joker laughed and escaped with Harley Tim came to with a splitting headache. All he could see or think of was doughnuts. What had that mad man done?

Tim couldn't stop himself from making like he was eating a doughnut.

Someone was trying to stop Tim from chewing on his own hand. Tim screamed at them. He really thought he had a doughnut.

"Snap out of it, Drake!" Damian snarled. "You're an idiot!"

Tim looked up at Damian. He looked just like a frosted doughnut.

Batgirl, Spoiler, and Cassandra Cain arrived on the scene. They also attempted to stop Tim from eating his fingers, with a little more success, since Tim seemed to think their breasts were doughnuts.

Bruce arrived. He subdued Tim, but Joker and Harley returned. Harley smacked Bruce on the head with her mallet. Joker sprayed him with the toxin. Bruce fought images of doughnuts. He didn't even notice Dick and Jason arrive and subdue both Joker and Ivy.

"They're all idiots," Damian said. He made a face as Jason squirted some toxin in his direction.

"Do I get to beat Joker?" Jason demanded.

"No," Dick said. "We need to get everyone to the cave. The police will take care of Joker and Harley.

Jason pouted for a second. He gave Joker a quick whack with a crowbar.

Dick rolled his eyes.


End file.
